my mind has become a muddled mess of thought pollution. cluttered and self-defeating. i'm quite certain that it is exhaustion that opens the door and keeps it open. a few years back I had real difficulty with this - certain the solution was to run away. now I see it more as spanning of the fine line between self love and hate.

I do my best to stay on the side of manic. the slope can be slippery and fraught with obstacles. but I recognize it now, feel the slide.

the answer for me is found in time out. time away from the world. finding my spirit. finding my joy. and then finding the same in you, whoever you may be. and knowing that tomorrow is a new and beautiful day.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me; the light around me will be night;"
even the darkness doesn't hide from you, but the night shines as the day. The darkness is like light to you. Psalm 139: 11,12