Friday, April 22, 2011

Declarations (of sorts)

Wow!  I so feel like I have been on blogging hiatus and all the things I've left unsaid are suddenly needing to be free'd!  I love the rush of it all moving through me in a free fall of sorts!  There are a couple of things that have been pressing on me and drawing my attention.

1.  To veg or not to veg?  Lately the idea of becoming a vegetarian has been making strong inroads into my heart.  I never imagined that I would even entertain the idea (mmm, the delicious smell of turkey) but I am definitely losing resonance with being a meat eater!  For most of my life I suppose I ate quite unconsciously, not thinking about where my food came from or how it was processed.   This is no longer the case.  There is a large part of me that wants to settle into my house in the Maritimes, grow a garden and have a chicken coop for fresh free-range (non-corn fed) eggs.  I am not declaring anything here, just an acknowledgement that every time I eat animal protein I have a sinking feeling inside.  Knowing that what that animal suffered so I can eat a big juicy steak definitely takes away the juicy-ness!

2.  Writing.  I love to write.  I love to wrap words up together and sling-shot them around the page.  I fantasize about sitting in quiet places marrying thoughts and fonts together.  Drinking gallons of Starbucks lattes.  I love the feeling of characters taking shape in my heart, becoming so real they need to have a home of their own, laid down in foundations of black and white.  Sometimes (most of the time) when I get into the zone, the words just fall on to the page in perfect order.  Days later, I will go back and re-read, as though I am seeing it, feeling it for the first time and think "Damn! I wrote that!  That came through me!".  I've always wanted to be a writer.  As  a kid/teenager I would sit at the river and just write for hours at a time.  I even had a pen name picked out but now I know I will just go with my own name:  Angela Mitchell and own it and be proud of the expressions I put down on paper.  In the coming year, I am going to write and write prolifically!  Stay tuned!

3.  Uncertainty is good!  I'm not a person that needs everything to be the same all the time.  That is, in fact, the exact opposite of who I am.  I love not knowing what is around the corner, I want the unexpectedness of life.  I want it to change on a dime.  I want the joy of adapting and learning and growing.  I want to take more risks, go further than I've ever gone before and trust that it is all going to be okay.  Because it will be.  Is there a worst case scenario?  Is there a place that you can't come back from without at least having learned something valuable along the way?

Many blessings on your day and a little Sheryl for the journey.

PS ~ I've decided to give up sugar for the next two weeks (just getting a bit out of control).  Heaven help us all in this household!

Thursday, April 21, 2011


I had been feeling pretty tapped out for the last month or so.  Putting all of the creative energy I could muster into school and my yoga classes.  (BTW, yoga... incredible!  Makes my heart sing to share it with others.) So needless to say, the blog has suffered.  BUT, as all things in life are temporary, I am happy to report that after just a few days of down time (currently on Easter break) I once again seem to be teeming with inspiration.

This week feels like a glimpse into what will be possible for next year.  I am both excited and grateful.  I used to get very worried when I felt cut off creatively.  Now I realize it is a matter of letting go, getting out of the way and it miraculously returns every time.  Ideas do not need to be relentlessly pursued, they need to flow.   I know that when I am tapped out, I have in effect erected a dam that is holding it all away from me on the other side.  The good news, it is still all there waiting for me!

Also, of late I've been very into the Teachings of Abraham.   Below is a sampling.  If this wets your appetite for more, search YouTube as there are lots of videos there to help enlarge your understanding.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

100 Words

I was driving today.
Alone, thinking the road could never be long enough
to let all my thoughts find wings.
Music loud but not enough to drown me out.
Joyfully letting my heart be occupied,
making lists of all it is drawing out of the aether.

Blue Rodeo sang Bad Timing.
I thought of you.  And smiled.  Is this what we are?
Across all of these imaginary miles, are we coming together
or getting further apart?
Will our bodies ever meet our minds?

It is all there.  Riding particles that ebb and flow.
Moving streams of rocketing desire and destiny.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

no ordinary day

something wonderful today happened.  to me.  i received, in the mail, official approval for next year's sabbatical leave!

and I don't really know what I'm going to do yet.  but for sure I am going to fill it up with beauty.  photography, writing, painting, reading, walking, yoga, breathing.  going to jam pack it up with these wonderful things.

perhaps I shall never come back. i know i shall never be the same.  

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Always A Woman

I was thinking just how much this reflects my mood today.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


i keep taking these deep breathes and holding them in my chest for a bit just to savour them.  my awareness of the air around me has changed.  i can feel things riding, floating, finding their way to me.  it is quite effortless apart from my observation of the invisible.

amazingly i have managed to turn myself right-side out.  as though all my internal twisting and morphing and knotted thinking has come to a conclusion of this particular phase.  the reflection is different even though the body from everyone else's eyes still looks more or less the same.

for such a long time it was about letting go.  letting go of all the things that no longer serve me.   i have succeeded.  the allowing is to begin.  to open up to the parts that do serve me.  that rocket me along into the fullness of living.  we are here for joy.  for understanding.  for courage to find ourselves among the stories being played out by the lives through whom we embed ourselves.