an email I received today from my husband (who honestly is quite wonderful and I'm not even being sarcastic).
Telemarketers and call-center employees train specifically for persons like you!
You are in the category of "Pissed off Teacher who has been sick for a week, going through her period and suddenly gets a bill in the mail for an account that was supposed to be closed".
Oh, by the way, the garage door was open when I came home at lunch ... I assume you forgot to close it this morning.
Enjoy Oprah, Dr. Phil, and other self-help talk shows.
Take it easy ... I am thinking about you.