Friday, November 05, 2010

See Beyond

Sometimes life is about hurting other people.  Not that we do this with malice.  In fact, we often defer our own happiness because we want so badly to keep the waters calm.  When below the exterior, we are wrought with undercurrents and distress from putting others in front of ourselves.

Lately I've been meeting myself in mirrors and dreams.   And we keep circling around how the future is going to look and feel.  How it has already changed and begun.  How the course is set.  I'm not fearful of it.  In fact, I welcome it.  I smile and breath it in, knowing that it's all going to be fine.  Better.  Even if it takes me a bit of time to find my sea legs once I leave the shore.

There will be collateral damage.  People that will endure a certain amount of bruising and battering.   Whose beliefs will be tested, challenged.  And part of me finds that a daunting burden, the responsibility of it.  Part of me doesn't want to upset the apple cart.  Would rather pretend that these philosophies can be lived with, endured, perpetuated.

But the me that is being called forward, the me that is not afraid and seeks the truth... Knows that our thorns also bear us the most beautiful of flowers.  And that life without provocation stagnates and diminishes.

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.”  Ben Okri


Shelley said...

ok. i'm a tad inebriated on wine... but i'm still coherent.

i think it is absolutely important to consider our impact upon others in "this life" (i put that in quotations because what i think about our current incarnations may not be the same as what you may think) but overall, i agree.
as long as you maintain perspective about the way you live your life may affect others, your decisions about how you proceed are your own.

gosh. i wish we could meet in a coffee shop and talk intransigencies. maybe someday!

Shelley said...

ps - upon re-reading my comment, maybe i should have waited for the morning's sobriety :) what i meant, was something that a friend reading my tarot cards once told me: you are only in control of what you do... not in how others react. of course, considering others is important, but if you KNOW that something is right for you, then those concerns are secondary.

seems obvious now that I type it... but for some reason that is something i need to remind myself of over and over again.

ok. going to bed now. g'nite!

Shelley said...

pps - please replace the word "those" with "their".

and i'm done. for real this time!

Smarts said...

Oh Shelley! I love you! I love that you are wine blogging! And yes, I would whole-heartedly meet you in a coffee shop! Morning sobriety is highly over-rated and lacks the insight of the night before!

I have to also remind myself that what I want is my priority of this life (I'd love to know your thought on incarnation). To give that over to another out of fear that their feeling may be hurt or their beliefs threatened is just silly.

And yet... these are people I love so much... I guess it just doesn't make it easy. But life shouldn't be easy!

Lyn said...

I have always found that the degree of confidence and boldness with which we respond to our choices will help determine the degree to which your loved ones will accept and adapt to them. Once you choose a path, commit wholeheartedly to it - no second guessing - and over time when they see you blossoming, all will be well. Just as you have a right to the freedom to choose freely, they are entitled to their reaction. Eventually - things will calm down and love will prevail. Trust me on this.

Smarts said...

Thank you, Lyn. I know you are right.