Can a Good Down Dog Save Your Life?

Living this far north (almost at the 60th parallel) one mixed blessing we have this time of year is daylight.  Right now it is light until almost 11 o'clock at night.  There are many things I LOVE about these long days.  With all of those 'loves' aside, getting kids to bed at a reasonable hour becomes the impossible task.

Today I got to enjoy (sarcasm) a whole class full of children who had, by Wednesday of this week, already exceeded the functional limited of exhaustion.  Now I am by nature an optimistic person.  But even I could not stand in the face of such overwhelming circumstances.

I came home at the end of this day completely tapped out, nothing left to give.  I laid on the couch for a while and watched two DVR'd episodes of Oprah, thinking the whole time that I hated her and I couldn't tolerate her success or her money or all of the eff'ing good she has done in the world.  Most days I quite adore the woman.   But today all I could see was the contrast of her world and mine.  On one show she was giving people make-overs.  If you could have seen me at the time, I'm sure you would have thought me worthy of a nomination.

Then I thought about how poorly I was handling my state of mind.  Which just made me feel worse.

Truth is, there are times in life when we just feel low.  We get thrown off balance unsuspectingly and find that our rebound muscle isn't flexing.  For me, these circumstances are almost always born out of fatigue and overwhelment.  In such moments it is easy to open the gates and allow a flood of negative memories and emotions to come rushing in.  Much easier in fact than to do the thing that is best for us, and that is to stop the deluge in its tracks.  The pity party dress is not so pretty.

So I turned off the TV and folded up the blanket I'd been hiding under.  Reassured myself I'm not really fat.  And went and found my yoga mat.

Sometimes you just have to reach in a better feeling direction.  Sometimes turning the corner is all the work you really have to do, the rest just shows up.

Opening to Grace

Every week I've been striving for a different focus in my Sunday night yoga session.  Of all the yoga classes and teachers I have had, the one that impacted me the most always set an intention for the work we would do in that hour.  This resonated with me right away.  Not only was I able to bring more ease to the practice but also became more open to surrendering myself spiritually to the poses.

This week we'll focus on opening ourselves up to grace. 

There is something intuitively powerful about the word grace.  It holds within it an intrinsic beauty of expansion. When we extend grace to ourselves, we cannot keep it from others.  We can find grace within and we can also channel it from beyond ourselves.  Accepting grace is an act of surrender to a benevolent source that seeks to watch all things grow and develop into what the cosmic orchestra has ordained for them to be.

Grace can catch us unaware.  We feel it when we share in the joy and pain of another.  It washes over us and cleanses as it moves.  Grace is like a benediction.  A prayer for peace.  For mercy.  For forgiveness.   It is a call to compassion and charity.  Grace abounds.   It is limitless, a cup that over-flows. 

So today, give thanks for all that has been so richly bestowed upon you.  Allow and accept the generosity of all that is graceful to be yours.  Abide in grace.  

Opening the Heart Chakra

For the yogi, everything is yoga.  Yoga is life.  I think this becomes the normal way of thinking for the person who sees themselves as a yogi.  Yoga is no longer a series of poses or asanas but rather a way of living your life.  The ideals of enlightenment become your approach to the circumstances you encounter.

Tonight, in my first class as an instructor, our lesson will focus on opening up the Heart chakra.  The Heart represents the fourth of the seven body chakras.  It is the balancing point, a fulcrum of sorts, between the the material world and our inner/spiritual world.  It is a bridge that connects our survival instincts to our ideals of knowing who we truly are and finding our purpose for living.  It is in this chakra that we begin to connect to peace and seek harmony in our lives.

The Sanskrit word for the Heart is Anahata.  In its literal translation it means unstruck or unhurt.  So, despite the fact that we all suffer and endure personal pain, the heart still has this immeasurable capacity for love.  Sometimes out of unconscious self-preservation we try to shut this chakra down, which only serves to create more suffering because the true nature of the heart is to love.

The element associated with the Heart chakra is Air.  I find this so sublime because love like air wants to fill up all of the spaces inside of us.  It will take on the shape of its vessel and at the same time cannot be contained.  Through breathing (pranayama) the Heart is strengthened and toned.  But one must bring a deliberateness to the act of breathing.  It must be deep and you should mediate from time to time on the beauty and significance of this chakra.

In yogic practice, the Heart is considered to be feminine.  The feminine in all of us yearns to release and let go of the temporal aches and pains and disappointments in this life.  The very act of breathing can enable this release to take place, to massage our hearts and enlarge our ability to love not only others but also ourselves.

Set aside a few moments to shut out the world.  Bring your hands together in prayer position.  You will find that your thumbs fit nicely against your sternum. Bow your head to your heart and begin to breathe steadily and easy.  Deepen as you go.  Feel the inhalation and exhalation in your belly.  Pay attention to the beating rhythm, you will soon begin to feel it throughout your entire body.  Give thanks to your Heart for its continued work, you really do owe it your life.

Namaste.

Quantum Leaps

Okay, maybe not quantum but I have taken a leap.  Leaps are good.  In some form or another a leap propels you forward, albeit at times down (occasionally gaining speed as you splat against the concrete).  Leaps are wearing your heart on your sleeve.  Leaps mean you are willing to risk public embarrassment. Leaps also mean you are open to the possibility of soaring as you spread your wings and take a chance.  Leaps do your heart good, regardless of the outcome.

And what you ask am I leaping around about?  Yoga.  I've decided to instruct my first yoga class!

Oh don't you worry, I've already mentally gone through all of the reasons that I shouldn't do this, reminded myself of all the ways that I am not qualified.  But, in the end, I've decided to risk it and do it anyway.  Failure to launch fears be damned.  And to be completely honest, those voices of opposition have been pretty small in proportion to the expanding part of me that WANTS to be a yoga teacher.

Practicing yoga has been and continues to be a force in my life that has opened me up.  Gotten me in touch with something deeper.  Something connected to everything else.  I suppose in a way it is for me the theory of everything.  The place where it all comes together and yet infinitely expands at the same time.  Amazing how so much can happened on one small 2 x 6 foot plot of real estate that can appears to the onlooker as slow and static.  Yet there I stand in Warrior, slaying my demons one conscious breath at a time.

With my whole heart, I believe that life rewards action.  The parable of reaping what we sow is as relevant as it has ever been.  I once read about a Zen master who looked on the mind as a garden.  The soil already contains the seeds of all that life can possibly offer ~ the good, the bad and the neutral.  It is up to each person to cultivate and care for their garden ~ this is in essence the responsibility of your life.  Your emotions are the catalyst to growth and development.  How you respond to your world is how your garden grows.

Don't spend your time worrying about the weeds.  Tend them daily.  Don't spend too much time gazing at someone else's garden and wishing it were your own.

Nurture the qualities you desire to bloom within yourself.  Do it by design.  Lead with your heart.  And take a leap with your soul every now and again.

The Art of Letting Go

This winter I have been taking a Pilate's class two times a week. Each session is a full 60 minutes long with a level of intensity I would place in the bulldog hard category! It is punishing and about 15 minutes too long in my estimation. This is not to say that it hasn't been without benefit. My arms and core muscles (although still nicely insulated by a soft squishy layer) have tightened and firmed. I've also met some nice people and gained some confidence by getting back on the bicycle, so to speak.

For several years now I have been taking yoga classes. I love Yoga. Of all the forms of exercise, Yoga and walking are my front runners. Pilate's and Yoga share may common elements and movements yet are two distinct disciplines. Very distinct, as I have recently learned.

Most nights after returning home from Pilate's, I felt empty, tired and sore. I did not look forward to actually going to the classes but did always feel good for at least the two days following the workout. I even gave some consideration to signing up for the spring sessions, but have since reconsidered.

Part of my reasoning for not rejoining at this time is that I have met a wonderful and caring Yoga teacher. Christine and I have kindred spirits and she approaches the practice with an intention and awareness I have not previously experienced with any other teacher.

I do believe that the beauty of Yoga exists in the deep connection that is made between the mind, the body and a collective spirit. The breath leads us on this journey, opening and extending our known boundaries of the three. It is a case of 'more than the sum of the parts'. Yoga, especially when lead by a teacher seeking the truth of who they are, goes far beyond physical exercise, so much so that the physicality is no longer even the point.

No doubt about it, Pilate's pushed my body to its physical limit. But something about it made me feel as though I had been robbed, that I wasn't good enough and that next time I should try harder. In Yoga, my breath is my focus, my mind is at ease and so is my body. I have experienced and maintained difficult poses and vinyasa by finding the beauty of the movement through the beauty of deep and soulful inhale and exhale. Also, I have found contentment and acceptance in not pushing my boundary (even backing off !) and allowing the pose to find its own rhythm. Generally, when I stop tyring so hard and rather focus my intent on releasing any tension and ego surrounding the movement, this release takes me far beyond the trying and into a deeper connect. I marvel at this over and over again.

I have found that this principle can be applied to daily living. My life takes on an ease when I thoughtfully practice the art of letting go. When I imagine myself soft and pliable I seem to glide through without getting caught up on so many small things. I also find that because I have purposefully given my physical and emotional self permission to accept things I cannot change, the things that I can change become much more meaningful and personal.

My desire for all of us, is that we can find our own space to practice and let go.

Namaste.


Take my yoke on you and become like me, for I am gentle and without pride, and you will have rest for your souls; For my yoke is good, and the weight I take up is not hard.

~Matthew 11:29,30~