Friday, May 13, 2011

Can a Good Down Dog Save Your Life?

Living this far north (almost at the 60th parallel) one mixed blessing we have this time of year is daylight.  Right now it is light until almost 11 o'clock at night.  There are many things I LOVE about these long days.  With all of those 'loves' aside, getting kids to bed at a reasonable hour becomes the impossible task.

Today I got to enjoy (sarcasm) a whole class full of children who had, by Wednesday of this week, already exceeded the functional limited of exhaustion.  Now I am by nature an optimistic person.  But even I could not stand in the face of such overwhelming circumstances.

I came home at the end of this day completely tapped out, nothing left to give.  I laid on the couch for a while and watched two DVR'd episodes of Oprah, thinking the whole time that I hated her and I couldn't tolerate her success or her money or all of the eff'ing good she has done in the world.  Most days I quite adore the woman.   But today all I could see was the contrast of her world and mine.  On one show she was giving people make-overs.  If you could have seen me at the time, I'm sure you would have thought me worthy of a nomination.

Then I thought about how poorly I was handling my state of mind.  Which just made me feel worse.

Truth is, there are times in life when we just feel low.  We get thrown off balance unsuspectingly and find that our rebound muscle isn't flexing.  For me, these circumstances are almost always born out of fatigue and overwhelment.  In such moments it is easy to open the gates and allow a flood of negative memories and emotions to come rushing in.  Much easier in fact than to do the thing that is best for us, and that is to stop the deluge in its tracks.  The pity party dress is not so pretty.

So I turned off the TV and folded up the blanket I'd been hiding under.  Reassured myself I'm not really fat.  And went and found my yoga mat.

Sometimes you just have to reach in a better feeling direction.  Sometimes turning the corner is all the work you really have to do, the rest just shows up.

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