Pages

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

June

It is way past my bedtime. The sun has just set and darkness is yet to descend upon me even though it is 11:30 pm! I guess I'm not yet ready for the day to end, so beautiful and summery.

Tonight on the way to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream (to top off a friend's birthday cake) I had a few moments of overwhelming euphoria. And I couldn't keep the smile to myself. And wondered why every moment can't have that same joyful bubbles in the air at a wedding quality. But quickly decided that not every moment is intended to. If they did, we'd really lose sight of their sweetness.

I haven't been blogging... well, mostly because it is June. And everything else seems to take precedence, even though I'm constantly composing in my head. And life has a weird juxtaposition, like how I'm content again and yet I know of much sadness within a single degree of separation. A girl named Jennifer (who at 36 and 4 children later is no longer a girl at all) and grew up only 5 doors away on the up river side of my house, died last week of a heart attack. Or how the boy I was completing in love with at 15 lost his mother to cancer earlier this week. And how my loyal dog/ companion friend was biopsied for cancer yesterday.

But ALL is temporary. And it is okay to be happy and sad in the same moment. Sometimes the sadness brings a clarity that helps me appreciate what it is to BE, to express, to reach, to cry, to love and abandon myself to the conflicting parts that make me me. A work in continual progress.

I'm looking forward to blog writing freedom. Time is currently on speed-dial with days of obligation winding quickly down (and they have their own joy and reward). For now I will leave you with this quote from the book The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist Zen master, poet, scholar and peace activist...

Only by coming back to ourselves and purifying our minds can we experience true, lasting happiness and the kind of power that can't be corrupted. Everything is related to everything else.

2 comments:

shelley said...

i am so very pleased that you had one of those euphoric moments that are are so sweet, but so few and far between. isn't it funny how they are not connected to having acquired something we think will bring us happiness, but occur randomly, and even at a time when we feel we should be experiencing a "proper" amount of grief or reservedness?

anyway, i hope it has fuelled you until the next time :)

rob said...

I like the way you see beyond the surface of things and I admire the way you attempt to deal with life's contradictions.