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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Running

It rained for most of today but is now clearing quickly and the air is drying out in a hurry. Right at this moment the grass and trees still have that dewy wet vibrancy but the sky is hopefully blue beyond them.

Earlier, I ran for what felt like an eternity along the old train tracks, well beyond the bridge. It just felt so good I couldn't seem to stop. The air was heavy and saturated on my skin. a smile welled from deep in me and I laughed out loud at just how ridiculous it was to be all alone on this little path, sailing with the wind and sensing that not even the lotto could have enticed me to do something different. I think I might be happiest for my overwhelming wonder in all of this.

Of course you were there with me. I laughed because your ghost steps were unable to keep up with mine, but you did your best to shadow me anyway. We continued our conversation. I reassured you that it is okay to feel uncomfortable, dare I say... afraid even. Too much vulnerability takes its toll, trust me I know. You immediately postured that you're NOT afraid, with that devil may care smile and ego taller than the Trump building on 5th Ave (I've been there and it's as soaring as they say but still impossible to imagine while having lived a life so close to the ground). I had to stop for just a bit to catch my breath, because I was once again laughing at your expense, in that deeply familiar sort of way we all want to be loved and accepted.

You scowled and kissed me. As though to teach me a lesson. At least that is what I hoped you might have done...

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