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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

In and Out

I think lately I've been forgetting to breathe.

My whole body is uptight, clenched almost. As for sleep, forget it - whirling through my mind at 2 am is an endless reel of nothingness that refuses to stop. I feel like I'm down to two shoddy cylinders at best. Oh to run on four again! Six is too elusive to even imagine.

I'm a naturally high strung person. I wish I wasn't, but I am. It just seems to be the way I'm programmed. Probably one of the reasons I have loved yoga so much is that it targets this area with calmness and serenity. Takes me outside of myself and helps to insulate all my frays.

This shoulder situation has taken more of a toll than I would like to admit. Last night I had another physio session and he told me I had to stop being afraid to do the things I did before the injury. It sucks when someone else tells you the fears you have to face. Like there aren't enough that I already know about, now someone else is keeping score too! I think this is where much of the tension is coming from - for a week I held my body rigid so as not to inflict additional pain and now that that is not necessary I still can't quite let it go.

So for the next several days I am going to consciously try and breathe. Just breathe. And let everything else fall away.

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