I've been acting badly this week. And now I'm in that sad, lonely aftermath of regret. Wishing that I was better at shutting up and not always so eager to tell those around me the way I see things and consequently why I am right. I'm quite accomplished at making speeches. It's never a good thing when you've grown tired of your own voice.
It's been a taxing last 5 days. Perhaps the busiest week of the year. I'm happy it is behind me now and if I can log 10 or 12 hours this weekend, I'll be in good shape for year end. It is almost laughable (and perhaps I will acutally laugh about it in July) at how bad I am at handling June stressors. I just hate that overwhelmed feeling of too much to do and not enough time to do it. I lose perspective and basically hand over a microphone to that voice inside my head that no one else, including me, should be listening to.
So for tonight I am taking some regrouping time. Going to work quietly in my classroom, sorting and grading. Looking for a little redemption.
Tomorrow is another day.
12 comments:
How did you do? Feeling better now that Monday's here? :)
Sometimes I annoy the hell out of myself as well and that's why I know I've let myself go too far and need to take a deep breath and reflect on how I want to actually live my life, even through the tough parts. I'm glad you were able to be honest with yourself (and all the rest of us!).
-Lisa
Hi...I'm glad we've virtually met through George. I've been looking over your blogs and really like the depth and thoughtfulness of the way you express yourself. I particularly like your poetry.
I wish you miraculous things in your year off. Nietzsche said that we should "live dangerously" and I think that's what you're doing.
Best,
Brad
http://jonaemediainc.blogspot.com/2011/07/find-yourself-on-google-125-web-design.html
i hope you do feel better now. At times like this, when I feel like the hour/day/month will be one hell of a ride, I shut my mouth up. i really can't trust myself to say nice things when I am going through "stressor moments".
Good advice, Elise! :)
It's a good thing when you know you have not handled things as well as you could have. It is a good thing when you know you talked to much. It is also a good thing when you get tired of hearing your own voice. Just think of all of the people who do not have enough self awareness to know all of those good things about themselves.
Clearlycrystal
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