These weeks have been miserable. I've experienced some pretty rough and raw emotions, and none of them the good ones! I've felt my energy levels drop below zero. This barrel had nothing left to scrape. Everyday just breathing was laborious and exhaust inducing.
My voice was taken from me and replaced with the raspy, phlegmy gurglings of one who has smoked unfiltereds for 50 years.
I've coughed til my back muscled spasmed in protest. Yet I had to keep coughing to get some of the bad stuff out of me.
I've begged to be restored. Only to get sicker. I've cried from the oppression of the fear and loneliness that takes hold in dark nights of waking while everyone else sleeps around you. You watch your frustrations grow, murky in dreams that give no rest - and you know you still have to go to work the next morning.
Today is better. It seems to be breaking up.
I have a lot of thoughts to chew on. There must be something here from which I'm meant to grow.