There is a softness to life that is easier felt when times are rough than when they are grand. Much to be said for getting cut off at the knees from time to time and crawling back into the shell of uncertainty and humility. Retreat so as to sort through it all and take a breather from the race (where people only ever get up go to work and then rush home to watch crime and drama unfold on cnn).
Inside the shell the mind gets quiet. The radio gets turned off for a while. Sometimes the lights even go out. Echos of what someone said that was unkind and unwarranted bounce in crazy directions from the curvature of the walls. You try your best to get out of the way so that it would stop smacking you over and over, after all hasn't enough damage been done? And you wonder what to do. What to say. How to respond.
Anger is a natural. The easy way.
But you've been on another path. Huddled in your turtle pose you wonder who hurt them that they should hurt you? Your anger begins to dissolve. It's energy has been wounded. The corners of your heart loosen. An image of their pain replaces your own.
You feel only. So much so that you can't quite figure it all out. You weep for your own relief, that you need not fight that which has fought against you. This knowing lights your eyes with strength and you have gained a new knowing. A thresh hold has been broken through.
Joy finds you through unusual and unexpected circumstances.
“In a controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for truth and have begun striving for ourselves.” Abraham Heschel