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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Up against

I had an interview last night. More than likely directly related to my vulnerable exposee last evening. I will admit it, I DO NOT LIKE to be INTERVIEWED! I'm not sure why, but for some reason I become a shell of myself, I'm nervous and fidgitity and then I get into a vicious circle of self-hate for being nerveous and fidgity. It doesn't help that I've had less interviews than I can count on one hand, so practice has been limited.

You see, my job experience has been that people who know me think of me for certain jobs and have just outright asked if I would be interested. Obviously in a new environ people don't just magically know you, so one must be rely on the interview. Ugggg.

Well despite the above, they called this morning and offered me the job. Said they were impressed. At this point I held the phone away from my head and eyed it suspiciously. I wonder if perhaps I just feel twitchy inside and somehow manage to jedi mind trick my audience. Bizarre.

So now the question is... do I take the job? The position is for a home/school child advocate. I am told it is demanding and difficult and requires home visits. Does this mean that it could be dangerous? There is certainly a lot of known abuse, both physical and substance, among the families I would be working with. Am I ready to see this face of the world? Can I live with how it might change me?

I have the next 24 hours to reflect.

To love is to recognize yourself in another. The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognized, not on the level of form, but on the level of Being. E. Tolle

6 comments:

Rob said...

I wish you the best in making this important decision.

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

choose wisely, young jedi

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

perhaps I'll come up with something better after the brain scan.

yeesh.

serenity said...

I don't know what the decision you made regarding your job offer was, but I hope that it is one that you feel hopeful and peaceful about.

Best wishes to you.

Smarts said...

Thank you Rob, Ms D and Serenity for your well wishes. To update you, I did not take the job. I have no specific reasons to share for why not, other than my gut was telling me no.

hugs to you all.
a

Rob said...

Smarts
My hunch was to advise you against taking the job but I did not like to influence your decision.
I have a bit of experience in this area and the work could have been highly stressful.